It is still all about perceptions

Around a year ago I was merrily attending  ACA meetings online at  The only thing I missed with the fellowship of a real life group. In talking with a variety of people in other 12 step programs I heard a lot of comments about really needing an ACA group (rather than an Al-Anon ACA group).  The focus of the programs is decidedly different.

So I ordered a few hundred dollars in books paid for a meeting space and endeavored to start a group. Of the three core members one’s in Great Britian, another is now working two jobs and the rest of the folks who drop by are just checking it out.  Last week I gave notice at the church.  We can’t make the rent and – to be honest – I’m tired of holding it together.

The perception is that if you build it they will come. There a million reasons not to come and the perception of “I can go next week” is all too easy.  It’s like a lawn.  It can be seeded with grass, but if the turf is not tended then you end up with barren muck.

I’ve heard shock, “Oh, you’re closing it down?  Where will I go?” My thought, “You’ll go wherever you’ve been doing these last 6 months won’t you?”  No muss, no fuss.  I gave it six good months and this is all I’m giving it.  Seems logical that it would either catch fire or fizzle.  It fizzled.  Back to  I love stepchat – I can always hear there since it is all java based chat. 🙂


    1. Not exactly social activism, just doing my best to meet an expressed community need. As a 12 stepper I believe we are accountable for our actions. If we’re loaded we might not be responsible, but we’re still accountable. In this case ACA has nothing to do with being drunk or on drugs, but it does mean folks who really believe they need a group are accountable for supporting it. Perhaps when this one closes they will get off their duffs and build a new one. ACA’s can really play the victim card (sadly) as well as the rescuer card (mine – starting a group). It is an interesting interplay. 🙂

      1. Yes, I’m familiar with what they’re about. But I didn’t mean “child” in the positive sense you’re taking it to mean. Sadly I meant “child” as irresponsible, selfish and arrogant. That was me, up until a very short time ago. Still me, to some degree, I suppose.

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