Adventures in cooking


A few days ago a friend of mine sent me a link to a youtube video about making baked eggs wrapped in bacon topped with cheese. Of course, the video makes it look easy and yummy.

This morning I got out some bacon, noticed it was thick, Applewood smoked and low sodium. What was I thinking when I got it? Oh, it was probably on sale. I browned it, noticing it sure had a lot of liquid that was not fat. Hmmmm

The dog jumped up and snagged the empty bacon wrapper on the counter and took off with it like a bolt of lightning. Because I’m not sold on dogs eating paper and plastic, we engaged in a game of “keep away” since even treats and the suggestion of trade did not work. Finally I poured some dog food in the bowl and poured some of the bacon liquid in there and that got his attention so I could get the mauled bacon wrapper.

By that time the first batch of bacon was brown without being crisp and set out to dry on some paper toweling. I was taking pans out of the oven and realized the light bulb was a smashed wreck in one of the pans. Note to self, turn off power to the oven before attempting to remove screw in bottom of bulb with needle nosed pliers to avoid zap!

Got out eggs, the super-jumbo ones I get from the local butcher shop and ponder if they might be just a tad too big for this particular use. Set aside. Get largest cup muffin pan. Spray with cooking spray, set aside. Pour bacon grease into refrigerator container, put second batch of bacon in the pan.

Line muffin cup with bacon strip torn in 2 for the bottom and one around the outside. Crack egg into muffin cup. Watch egg white run out of muffin cup and onto the glass stove top. Pause to get damp sponge. Check fridge. No smaller eggs. Shrug. Repeat process, pausing to rinse egg whites out of sponge on a regular basis. Note to self: Next time consider getting smaller eggs ahead of time. Finish cooking bacon, pour out all grease into chilled container. Sample small piece of left over bacon. Hmmmm, no flavor. Look at empty dog dish and wonder if I just fed him a tablespoon of flavorless grease. Shudder.

Salt the tops of the eggs, hoping it will make up for the flavorless bacon. Top with jalapeno jack and Mexican style shredded cheese. Ponder chances of tasteless bacon working. Place in 400 degree oven.

Fifteen minutes later … take out four baked eggs with puffy cheese tops. Looks just like the video. Attempt to remove said baked eggs from the stick-free pan. Ponder if neighbor has jack hammer I can borrow. Finally extract eggs, leaving heavy crust around the top of the muffin cup. Place pan in hot water to soak. So much for stick-free pans.

Cut into egg. Dry as dust. Note to self: 400 degrees for 15 minutes is waaaayyyy too long. Flavor – dull and lifeless. Note to self: reduced sodium bacon = bad idea. Eyeball dog. Can’t feed him any more right now or he’ll urp. Consider bathing eggs in salsa on the reheat.

Not something to serve to company.

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5 comments

  1. I love it when people post the fails. I recently bought some pork chops. I was under pressure and grabbed the first ones I saw. When I took them home and tried to fry them, the pan filled up with a glue like brown mess. It was the ‘Maple flavour’ leaking out. They were disgusting. They tasted sweet and not in a good way. I have not had a pork chop since….
    Best,
    Conor

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Conor! I often feel I learn more from the fails than the successes. For one thing, I think more about what went wrong and how I could fix things in the future. I’m known for being an exceptionally good cook, so I usually find a way to fix a recipe. This one is fixable with the right bacon, something like chipotle mayo to moisten it, the right size egg, and probably something like goat cheese topped with chives and other good seasonings – and cooked maybe 10 minutes. I’ll have to do a test run with just one egg.

      Maple flavoring in pork chops? Ewww…

      Now, a nice meaty pork chop, well seasoned on both sides with cracked pepper, roasted garlic powder, some onion powder and a touch of sea salt, sautéed in something like bacon fat until just brown and crisp on both sides, then simmered in a soup – my preference is black bean or lentil, with more herbs and spices – until the meat simply falls off the bone after the touch of a fork is heaven because it is moist, tender, and tasty – as well as able to melt in the mouth. Now there’s the ticket! Served with a wilted spinach salad on bacon bits with goat cheese and …. ummmmm. Maybe I can talk you into pork chops again. :^)

  2. I’m not Irish and I love this blog. I don’t even eat pork! Just delightful in how direct, funny and self deprecating it is. We need more people like you. I have a tendency to read cookbooks, love the pictures, and then to never cook any of the recipes (my husband is a great cook!).

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